Saturday, November 6, 2010

Live Crash and Burn

I had a fantastic Friday and Sabbath! Penny was visiting from California and I went all out to make the weekend special for her. I prepared some culinary treats which included some strange legume or vegetable named Edename. My spell-check wants to change the word to edentate, but I know better. I cleaned the house after a week of jubilee, when the house remained fallow to permit it to recover from the last cleaning (I believe it’s biblical).

I gussied myself up and set a table for two, with candles and special dinnerware. I bought a tablecloth with matching placemats and napkins with those special doilies that scrunch them in a very classy way. I had the raspberry lemonade (Penny doesn’t like carbonated drinks) on ice, the candle lighted and the roses in a vase displayed just right for her arrival. It was magical!

The next morning we arose early to get to the Monte Vista Spanish SDA Church where I was slated to preach. Mas TV was slated to be there and sure enough, they were set and ready to roll at exactly 11:00 a.m. I was informed that I could speak as long as I wanted, but the cameras would stop rolling at exactly 12:00 p.m. I had a great time sharing the message I had prepared especially for that morning. I forgot the cameras were in the house, but I remembered the clock, which stood glaring at me from the back of the church wall like a sentry protecting the required accuracy of the worship service. The pressure was on.

It worked! I finished my sermon at almost exactly 12:00 p.m. Since there was not digital clock giving me a second by second countdown I have no way of knowing whether I actually finished at 12:00 p.m. sharp or at 12:00 p.m. and 37 seconds. The director of the TV crew did commend me for finishing on time. I was delighted to know that I had made their job easier and managed to get my message across in a timely manner. All was well with the world. An enchilada dinner awaited me at the church pastor’s home. All I had to do was leave the building without tripping down the platform stairs. What could possibly go wrong?

I managed the stair part. Apparently the cameras were still rolling when I walked off the platform and was prompted to walk down the middle aisle of the church with the senior pastor. I looked down the center of the church and saw my wife sitting there about three rows back on my right side down the middle aisle. It seemed natural to invite her to walk with me for the remainder of the walk down the center of the church. It never occurred to me that she might be disinclined to join me. Alas, my mistake. With cameras rolling—like the guy who proposes to a girl during halftime at a sporting event with the picture up on the Jumbo-Tron, only to have the girl say “No,” she waved me off. Yes, in front of the millions of people watching Mas TV on Sabbath morning (maybe 10) Penny gave me the cold shoulder. It could have been worse—I could have spontaneously combusted.

Other than that it was a great day in sunny Arizona. We went to the state fair in the evening. Major disappointment, except for the health check that told me I am a ticking time bomb. Oh well, at least it’s only Saturday….

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