In a Pickle

I am not really looking forward to tomorrow. It really has nothing to do with work, specifically. It doesn't even have anything to do with the fact that it's Monday. It's just that I have to do something that does not come easy to me, at all-- "eat crow."
You see, I have this character flaw that often comes back to bite me. The truth is that I have many character flaws, but that is another story. Tomorrow I have to account for something that is a direct result of one of those character flaws. One complicating factor is that this particular flaw has served me well over the years. I love to say "Yes." Yes to this. Yes to that. Having a propensity for saying "Yes" is not the same as being a "Yes Man." I certainly do not consider myself a "Yes Man"!
No, but it is true that, all things being the same, I will try my best to find a way to say yes to a request to help out-- anyone, with anything. As a pastor, teacher, principal, and now, superintendent, I have always sought to make myself useful to those I serve. Maybe it's the way I was raised. Maybe it's some Freudian deficiency rooted in some latent childhood trauma. In any case, I will go out of my way to say yes if someone calls and asks me to do anything having to do with what I consider related somehow to my calling.
That may even sound a bit noble, but it can create some serious conflicts, especially when my propensity to be so accommodating becomes slanted to those I "serve" at the expense of those i "live with." Does that sound "familiar". Well, it is-- familiar, that is. As in family. For example, I recently accepted an invitation (actually two) to preach a Sabbath morning sermon and then speak for a Sabbath afternoon vespers program at two venues within this conference on an upcoming Sabbath. Actually, I have accepted several engagements. The calendar is beginning to fill up quite nicely. The problem with this particular opportunity is that I accepted it in spite of the fact that I was already committed to spending that day with my family in California. Family, in this case, includes Penny, my wife (who is presently still in California), my children, and grandchildren, and extended family. It was one of the "blackout" dates in my calendar. Now you see my dilemma.
My family was quite chagrined when they found out I had accepted a preaching engagement for Sabbath morning. They conceded Friday, after I explained that I would still be able to meet them later that afternoon if I left right after the church service. I was home free. Then I accepted the second one, rationalizing the fact that I could still get their later that night and then enjoy Sunday with the family. That didn't go so well. I found myself in the proverbial doghouse. Now I need to fix it.
So tomorrow I will have to call the people I assured I would be at their school to speak for their vespers program to inform them I will not be able to honor that commitment. I dread doing it. I would rather have my fingernails pulled back from my fingers. But the alternative is even less palatable.
The sad thing is that it's not the first time I have put myself in this unenviable predicament. I hope it will be the last time. I must learn that I am not defined by what I do professionally or ecclesiologically. I am first and foremost just a man, who happens to be a husband, a father, and a grandfather. My family is an integral part of what I do and of who I am. They are not one and the same. Lesson learned, once again.
I wonder if a vegetarian can "eat crow" and still be a vegetarian?